Not UNkind.

It doesn't feel like 2013 has been kind to us.  It seems like every week (or weekend!) we've had sick kids or we've been sick.  I hardly ever get sick (I'm the Mom-- the Mom is supposed to stay well all the time because the Mom takes care of it all all the time), but in the last month I've been sick twice.  The blow was crushing this last weekend when my husband complained Friday morning of feeling awful and I wasn't feeling well myself by day's end.  We had so many fun plans for the weekend-- literally the first weekend of the entire year we weren't a family of sickies or a family resting/recovering from being sick the previous week.  I was mad.  And disappointed.  Mostly very disappointed.

And how hard is it to Mother gently when you're sick?  Your patience is thin so the small things become huge and you hear yourself using all your strength to yell and you feel badly because you're not the Mom you want to be, but you also just feel bad for yourself because maybe just once you could have yourself to take care of instead of settling onto the couch only to be informed of a diaper needing changing, a robot you need to help build, a snack needed, a drink requested, pleas to go outside...

And I sit there on the couch while I'm being screeched at and this and that is demanded of me and I think about how hard this is and how I hate it and I swear up and down as soon as I'm better we're going out; we're doing fun things!  And then I remember how we're limited in the fun thing because of the 15 month old's inability to walk which harkens me back to the physical therapy appointment Friday and how emotional and hard is was and I think again how unkind 2013 has been.

But that's not true.  It hasn't been unkind.  It's actually been a year rich in blessings in only the short time we've spent in this new calendar.  We've had needs and wants and seen them met.  Our blessings have been multiplied.  Our God has provided.  Despite being sick we've stayed relatively healthy.  Our son who cannot walk has already shown so much improvement in his exercising this week and hopefully by the end of this month's therapy he'll be discharged and walking just in time for the glorious spring weather and he'll be able to explore the park and the zoo and the backyard in a whole new way.

It's easy to get down when you think about all the bad things and the disappointments.  And when you're down, it's easy to feel really down and in the pits and yell at your kids because you're blue and bummed.  But if you (I, I, I...) focus on the positive and see the blessings and the good things and the hand of God in our lives then I see the bad isn't really that bad and all in all it's been one heck of a year.

--Linking up to "Just Write" today.