Making Friends As an Adult

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I'm a young Mom.  Most people my age are just settling into their careers or starting to get married.  The majority of people who were my friends when I was still school-aged are single and the few who are married are childless.  Actually, only two of the people I graduated high school with (granted my graduating class was about 75 people) are parents and as fun as it'd be to coordinate with these women, they're working Moms, not stay-at-home-Moms so schedules are challenging and it just doesn't happen.  I actually only have one local Mom friend who I get together with semi-regularly which is a funny thing to confess because I feel like one should have a lot of friends.  I am so very thankful for this friend and am always so happy when we find the time to get our kids together to play and spend the hours talking away.  We relate well to each other and conversation comes easily.

And the truth is, I've met other Moms.  I've met Moms in the neighborhood, at Chick Fil A, and in passing at Church.  I've even managed to have a few play dates with Moms I've met, but it's always a challenge because kids get sick or schedules get busy.

Talking to other Moms is pretty easy.  My Mom told me when I was pregnant with J that once you become a Mom it is so easy to talk to and relate to all other Moms because you're all "in the club" together and everyone can talk about their kid non-stop which makes conversation easy.  I think this is really true.  I can't tell you how many women I've sat with at Chick Fil A while I bounce E and watch J climb through tunnels and have thought, "Wow, we are having really great conversation!"  But then the conversation ends.  The six-year olds stampede in and we Moms of younger toddlers rush our children down while saying how we enjoyed the conversation and then a toddler (sometimes mine) sees the door to the play ground open and goes running through the restaurant so you have to take off.

These encounters always leave me a little dumbfounded and I wonder, "That went so nicely and I feel like we could be friends! Should I have gotten her number?"  And then "Call Me Maybe" pops in my head and I feel lame for not knowing what to do or how to connect beyond play ground conversations with other women.

The Church our family attends is huge and the way people get connected is through home group situations.  Josh and I have found it difficult to get plugged into a home group in our time at this Church because of our having such little kids.  Recently though, I started taking the boys with me to a group for stay-at-home-Moms.  It's been so lovely to visit with other Moms every other week the last few weeks, but even within that group, I feel like we're all having great conversations, but no one is really meeting or talking outside of the group.

...And that makes me wonder, do other people want friends?  Why are friends important?  I know for me the friends I have (married, not married, Moms - whoever) are important.  They encourage me.  My Mom friend and I can text frustrations about our nap time (and let's not forget the Twitter friends I have who share in these woes with me too!).  Other friends with their other lives challenge me in other ways - in my faith, in my individuality... friends are good and important and healthy.  And it used to be so easy to make friends, but is that just because environments like school and college made it easier?  Now as adults and parents we can be so easily distracted when it comes to having conversations and getting to the heart of the matter and isn't it the getting to the heart of the matter that makes such great friends?

I did have some luck in this area lately with a friend I met on Instagram of all places!  We "met," became online friends and then finally met up at the zoo a few weeks before she moved to Texas.  I felt like our kids got along great, we got along great, we had similar views, values, etc and I felt like it was so natural and easy to be her friend.  It helped that as soon as we met up she dived right into real conversation.  So is that what it takes?  And how hard is it to make yourself vulnerable only to be rejected or to even be the only one of the two making yourself vulnerable in the first place?

I have no resolution on this issue, but it's a topic that's weighed heavily on my mind.  I'd love to hear from you.  What stage of life are you in and how does that stage effect your ability to forge friendships?  Any advice for someone who feels like they're starting Kindergarten all over again in the friends department?

P.S. I remembered after writing this the friend I mentioned, April, wrote a post about friendship lately too.  You can read that here.  It's good!

A Toy Story 2nd Birthday Party

I've spent the last few weeks working on J's 2nd birthday party.  It was this last Saturday (even though his birthday is tomorrow).  If you didn't know he is OBSESSED with Toy Story.  We watch it every day (and boy am I glad there's 3 to choose from!), he plays with his Toy Story toys all the time and is always asking about Woody's hat.  I was excited to have this party for him & to see his reaction to everything we set up.  He was definitely excited when he walked into Grandma's house and saw everything, but let's be honest, the balloons were by far the highlight of the decor.  Haha.  Oh well, I've packed it all up and intend to reuse it again when he's older and will appreciate it even more!

We had two parties with him with our two separate families.  This first batch of pics was with my family at my Mom's house (our house is too small to hold all the people who came to this one!).

(The easel was a gift from my parents and my youngest brother drew the Woody. Everyone at both parties signed.  This was my Mom's idea & I loved it!)

Most of my time spent crafting was on this photo booth.  I saw the idea on Pinterest and loved it but wasn't sure how it'd pan out.  It ended up being so much fun for everyone and the pictures are incredible!  I'm so glad I ended up taking the time to do it and thankful to my sister who helped me with the props!

Special thanks to my husband who helped so much w/ the party & who dealt w/ a crazy woman as a wife last week.  ;)

Party two was at our house with Josh's family.  It started immediately after J's nap & he was pretty excited to wake up and see the party as still happening and his Nana & Pa had arrived for the fun!  My Mother-in-law contributed a few more decorations she picked up at Party City.  My favorite things were the giant Woody & Buzz and Jessie, Rex & Mr. Potato Head posters she brought.  J was impressed too.  They're now hanging in his room and spicing up his plain white walls.  Here's a look...

I'm typically not a fan of posting my kid's names or pictures on this blog, but since this is a birthday post here's a picture of the little man from the side admiring the large Woody poster during his second party.  I really can't believe he'll be two tomorrow and I've just celebrated that with the people who love him.  Time really does fly way too fast when you become a parent.  :(

Thanks so much for everyone who helped with the party! I'd like to put up a few tutorials soon, but in the mean time here's links to websites I drew my Pinstert-piration! 

Photo booth.

Banner.

E turns 1 on October 15th and I'm already planning (and pinning) the best Mickey Mouse Clubhouse party for him (he LOVES Mickey!) but I think everyone around me deserves a birthday party break.  We go to Disney World soon, but once we're back I'll switch over to party planning mode for my littlest man.  Hope you all have a good Monday! :)

5 Minute Guacamole

In June, I did a pin review on copy cat Chipotle guacamole. We make it frequently because as I mentioned then, Josh loves it.  I've come to just like it.  I'm not the biggest fan of raw, crunchy onions and I just don't like the random heat that comes from jalapeño chopped up in the mix.  Sometimes you don't taste it at all, sometimes you taste too much.  Josh disagrees with me and finds no fault with the recipe so if you like it, stick with it, but if you want something different, I have something for you!

I've been playing with guacamole a lot and I've finally found something I really like.  Guacamole is only time consuming when it comes to chopping everything up.  In this recipe, there's less chopping and the whole process is much quicker.  I'm able to make this in 5 minutes which is perfect when I want a little something fun with my lunch or when I'm mixing up some guacamole for our Mexican food night (although I'm only ever making this version if we're out of onion or jalapeño).

And, by the way, this recipe yields about 1 cup of guacamole.  If you eat it all it'll cost you 6 Weight Watcher points, but if you eat 1/3 a cup (like I do) it's only 2 points! Win!

...So here we go! 

Ingredients:

2 avocados (mine were medium-ish)

1/2 small tomato

1/2 tbs lemon juice

1/2 tsp lime juice

1/2 tsp jalapeño juice

2 tbs cilantro (unpictured)

1/2 tsp garlic powder

salt to taste

When making the guacamole I first get my avocado mashed.  I slice, de-pit, score*, scoop into a bowl, and mash.  I like to leave some chunks initially because by the end of the process there's been a lot of mixing and I don't want it to be free of some chunkiness in the end.

Next, I cut my tomato, scoop out the seeds and liquid and chop it up.  Set it aside and do the same with the cilantro.

Now take your juices - lemon, lime, and jalapeño and add them to the avocados.  Toss in your salt (less is more when you're starting) and garlic powder.  Give the mix a stir and give it a taste (preferably with a chip so you can measure the saltiness against the chips saltiness - you can tell this is serious business, right?).

Mix in tomato and cilantro and stir once more.  Now, have your official taste (the previous taste was more like a teaser) and decide if you need more salt or more garlic or more spice or more acidy.  Guacamole is so personal so this is more of a jumping off point and what I specifically like.

I hope you enjoy this!  As always, be sure to let me know if you try it!  For me it's so easy to mix up and there's something about the process of making guacamole that makes the fact your infant is pulling up on your leg to be held and your toddler is covering himself with infant saline solution that makes the world still seem ok.  ;)

*By scoring I mean slicing the avocado while it's still in it's "shell" as pictured above.  I saw this on Food Network once and my life was forever changed.  It's genius.