5 years!

When we met I was 18 and you were 26.  We became great friends and I could talk to you about anything.  I thought you were just the kind of guy I wanted to marry, but we each assumed the other would never been interested because I was younger and you were older.  But then we realized age didn't really matter so much and it wasn't that you were LIKE the guy I wanted to marry; you were the guy I wanted to marry.

So we dated for 8 months and called every night an "adventure night."  And we did it all.  We went to concerts and walked at the parks and there was the night we drove around almost the whole night just talking and laughing and eating donuts because when you're young and in love, those are the kinds of things you do.  And you told me you loved me right after you kissed me for the first time and we both knew that meant forever.

You asked me to marry you at our spot at the park on a perfect night in April.  And then right after celebrating with tears and kisses you took me to Barnes and Noble to buy a wedding planner because you knew just who you were marrying.  You knew me through and through but hardly at all compared to how you know me know.

And we flew to California with your family to meet your Grandparents and have a little ceremony on the beach where we would talk about how much we loved each other.  And seeing that ocean for the first time with you on my arm was romance and bliss.  And we talked about how one day we'd live near an ocean and how we'd be warm all year 'round.

And then you married me.  Me and my crazy.  Me and my problems.  We were two imperfect people coming together to be one and create a life and a family and to be supported through it all.  Marrying you was committing to being your best friend forever and being the person who'd carry you through your storms just like you'd carry me through mine.  We agreed I am yours, you are mine, and now we each have a person for the through thick and thin who we love.

And you have always felt like home.

You took me to Disney World for our honeymoon.  You loved it but I wasn't so sure going in.  But I became a believer.  We cultivated dreams there for our family and bringing little people there year after year.  It was a dream then and reality now.  Sometimes I still pinch myself because none of this seems real...

And that first year of marriage was so good like the first year is supposed to be.  I had some bad hair styles and gained too much weight, but you still loved me.  I went through three jobs, we bought a house, and we had fun.  There were stressful times, but it was good times.

And we got our friends together and we started a house Church when we couldn't find a Church that fit us and when we felt so frustrated by the whole thing.  And that was so fun.  Even the cleaning before and after.  And we had an Oscar party and you dressed like Steve Carrel's character in Anchorman and I tried to dress like Juno, but that didn't work out so well.  And we had fun.

And then we past our first year marker and after lots of talking and praying we decided, "BABIES!" and it happened so quickly.  We were blessed.  And terrified.  And excited!

We saw James Taylor and Carole King which was basically the best thing ever.

You pushed me around Walt Disney World in a wheelchair because of my pregnancy sciatica and I wished a million blessings upon you for being such a good man.

And then in the middle of the night on a hot August evening, everything changed.  PARENTHOOD.  It was hard.  Those first few months when J had colic and we couldn't sleep and I cried and you felt stressed... it was hard.  As prepared as we were, we weren't prepared at all, really.  It was a hard season, but we made it through.  We found ways to reconnect and build a stronger foundation going forward in our marriage.  And we figured out how to be parents by figuring out there was no right or wrong, but really just instincts and constant communication.

And then, 5 months later, we got pregnant again!  People thought we were nuts.  We weren't.  E is the best little guy and what would our lives be without him?

The first year of 2 under 2 was the hardest.  We were tired and frazzled, but then we turned a corner.  E became a toddler and J was well into toddlerhood and we felt less like survivalists and more like a little family who could do things and have fun.  And in our photos, we started looking less tired.

And in our 5 years, there have been hard seasons.  Death, cancer, weight battles, financial stress... We've had our seasons of plenty and of want.  We've had our seasons of frustration and of triumph.  We've had our seasons of distance and closeness.  We've had our seasons of hurt and love.  We've had our seasons of no sleep and sleeping in.  We've had our seasons of "how can we get through this?" and "we made it!"  We've had our seasons of happy and sad.  And in every season, we've had each other.

And just like we promised we would 5 years ago today, in every season we've held the other's hands no matter what we've faced and we've been each other's rock.  We've helped the other through.  We've prayed, we've cried, we've fought, we've kissed, we've danced, we've laughed, we've overcome.  And I wouldn't have wanted to do any of this with anyone in the world besides you.

Thank you, Josh, for loving me.  Thank you for choosing me.  Thank you for supporting me through thick and thin.  Thank you for praying for me.  Thank you for creating a beautiful family with me.  Thank you for working hard so I can stay home.  Thank you for listening to my dreams.  Thank you for holding me when I cry.  Thank you for the highs and especially the lows.  Thank you for holding me up.

Happy anniversary!