The Infinite Summer

My feeds are full of photos.  Photos of kids with their smiles and their shiny new back packs and their Mothers squatting beside them all smiles (or red-eyed as they hold back the tears).  The shoes are scuff free and the clothes are still bright and unfaded.  It's the first day of school.

The captions of the photos fill me in on the grade the kid is entering and how the Mom feels about school.  Some are really excited.  They have their days back.  Some are really, really sad.  They'll miss their little ones.  Especially the Moms who's littlest ones are going to Kindergarten for the first time and they're alone for the first time in years.

And I have no judgement here.  No judgement because I look at the photos of the kids who's Mom is, "FINNNNALLLLY! We're all so excited and ready!" and I think about how nice it must be for your house to be clean for 8 hours.  Or how nice it must be to work out as long as you want or read a book or deep clean something or have lunch with a friend or go to the grocery store alone.  And I get a little jealous because that sounds so nice when you're in the thick of the little years and you have to choose between a good workout and maybe a shower, a nap, cleaning, or time to decompress in the one hour of down time you have in the day...

But then I look at the photos of the sad Moms.  I see their kids equally excited about school and friends and the adventure they're headed into but I read the words of their caption and feel the dread and the loneliness and the ache of missing their babies.  And I see tweets where people say, "I miss them being 2."  When I read those captions I wonder how does it really feel to sit in a clean house for 8 hours?  And when you're done with your work out and your shower and your chores and your groceries, what does it feel like to sit alone for 3 hours just waiting for the chaos and the smiles and the fighting to all come home so your house feels like home once again?

And as much as I'd like a day of quiet sometimes, I can't help but be grateful.  Photos in my feed are not of shiny new back packs, new unscuffed shoes, fresh hair cuts or a teary-eyed Mom sending her babies off to school... my photos are of an infinite summer we're stretching out because we can.  My boys and I are picnicking at the park and seeing movies and playing in the hose and going swimming and doing whatever we want whenever we want because these days are ours.  These moments are ours.  We have no resposibilities likes school.  Sure there's housework and there's working out and theirs some educating their minds here and there, but mostly there's time.  And while some days time feels like the enemy because it moves soooo slow, one day I'll be sending them away and time will still move slow while similtaneously moving way too fast.  Because the bridge between Kindergarten and senior year is quickly crossed.  I'm told by many they accidently blinked and their babies were gone and they wish they could come back here.  To the fights and the chaos and the time outs and the peeing in the pants because you were so excited to get in the pool you forgot to tell Mommy you had to go stuff of life.

So for now, I'm reminded to be thankful they're here with me.  We're at home eating cereal at 2pm and watching cartoons as we please and discussing the alphabet in between wrestling matches and doing chores only to watch them undone and laughing and playing and swimming and talking and soaking in these infinite days of summer before they expire and I send them off to school.

Lord, make time slow down.