26 Days: A Fresh Start

So here I am on the heels of my last post (where I talked about how much I was struggling to move forward in my weightless journey) to tell you: I've moved forward!

I decided to challenge myself and to re-detox my body after acclimating to junk as I came back into "real-life eating" after my HCG/Nutritionist diet.  Honestly the re-detox has been needed since Disney World.  Up until that vacation I needed and craved mostly whole foods and if I went more than 4-6 hours without consuming produce, I'd get an itch and craving for THAT.  That's what happens when you're healthy.  At Disney World I did GREAT the first day and had the best Greek salad at Magic Kingdom and munched on fruit in our hotel room… and then I stopped and indulged away and even though it took me weeks of clean eating to crave clean foods, it only took a few days for my body to decide it didn't miss them anymore.  Funny how that works, huh?

So I planned on doing a 28 day detox from November 1st through the day before Thanksgiving.  Then I got food poisoning!  That was awful and lasted 2 days and then another day of recovery after that.  So I officially started my detox on November 3rd and it will be a 26 day plan now.

I've been saying I'm doing Paleo.  Technically I am.  I'm eating natural meats (fish, chicken, quality beef, bacon and some other pork), a ton of veggies, 2-4 servings of fruit a day and some avocado and almonds.  I can have a Larabar (without peanuts) with Paleo and I can cook with good oils like olive oil.  This is all similar to my diet with the nutritionist except I couldn't have any oil, avocado, or nuts.  I'm also not really measuring meats and veggies but rather eating until I'm full.  By all definitions this is Paleo in a rigid form (no Paleo pancakes, etc), but I'm not doing Paleo as a forever change in my lifestyle.  I want to clarify that because there are purists who are very, very serious about doing Paleo forever and even having their families do Paleo.  While I think that's fine and great, my ultimate goal is to be a clean eater who has the occasional cheat meal or cheat day when I reach my goal weight.  Clean eating is most important to me.  I know, however, that weightloss success comes quicker and the body slims up faster and better when you cut out carbs and sugars.  So Paleo it is.

This post isn't just to talk about that… it's mostly to talk about how hard the last 2.5 days have been because I think that's what you can probably identify with if you're here reading.

Day 1 I was pretty pumped and determined because that's how day 1 is for everyone.

Day 2 is hard.  Day 2 you are bored and your jealous of your kids Halloween candy treat and you realize THIS IS THE BEGINNING.

…I've always said to everyone that starting is the hardest part because you start at 0.  When I started Weight Watchers at 250lbs with a goal of 155lbs, that felt SO FAR AWAY.  225 felt so far away.  Day 1 I was all about it, but day 2 I felt overwhelmed.  This, for me, is because when you are on day 1, 2, 3, whatever, you are closer to -0 than you are to minus goal.  And that's hard!  It's hard to move forward and take the next step when you're at the beginning.  It is 1000% mental.

All this hit me the evening of day 2 and the morning of …

Day 3 I felt finished.  Discouraged.  Cranky.  I glared at my husband while he drank a creamy cup of coffee goodness and I sipped at mine that was bitter and black (I bought a better bag of coffee today - horray!).  I was jealous of the biscuits my husband made for him in the kids even though I had the most incredible western omelet with avocado on my plate.  I felt discouraged and I was completely without any progress.  I felt bloated and tired and definitely like I was detoxing from sugar (this is usually a 1 full day process and you KNOW it when you go through it - it's like Jekyl and Hyde). I packed a lunch of green beans, almonds and an apple knowing I'd pick up a Larabar at the grocery store and that would be what I ate while the kids played on the McDonalds playground after our grocery shopping trip (TOTALLY realize how ironic it is that I ate that while they ate Happy Meals…).

BUT I walked away from lunch feeling a little better.  We got home, I got the kids down for a nap and I did T25.  I haven't done T25 since before Disney World.  It hurt so good.  Feeling extra motivated and knowing I hadn't run since Wednesday and OH HEY I have my first 5k in 24 days, I decided to hop on the treadmill and run through my quick work out playlist while pushing myself on time.  Working out cleared my head.  It got me remembering ALL of these things about day 1-3 and being -0 and how HARD it is to start.  It's HARD.  That's why most people don't make it to their goals.  That's why most people lose in January and have quit their diets by Valentine's day.  It's a human problem!

I have to remind myself this challenge is for 24 more days.  I am detoxing my body.  I am forcing myself into a time out for bad choices made in the last few months.  I'm kick starting my weightloss so I can reach my goal.  And my new goal isn't 155lbs, it's 145lbs.  I want to push myself and succeed.  I am happy and confident with my body right now, but I have worked too hard to quit and even though I'm proud, I can be prouder.  I can picture my stomach 20lbs lighter; still battered and misshapen from babies, but that's my mark as a Mom and I have no hate for that, but flatter.  No more muffin top.  MORE confident.  Full of pride in my SUCCESS and the fact that I didn't quit just because I was ok with where I was and content with how easy things were.

So that's where I am.  Day 3, -0.  It's hard mentally.  I'm cranky.  I miss coffee creamer.  I want a sandwich.  Or popcorn.  Or dadgum Halloween candy.  But this is short.  And the day it's over I'll run my first 5k which is something I NEVER WOULD HAVE DREAMT OF DOING last Thanksgiving when I was 220+ pounds.

STARTING STATS:

Weight: 164lbs (goal, 155)
Clothes: size 10 pants (with muffin top), size M top

DAILY PLAN:
Eat Paleo, work out at least 20 minutes (except 2 rest days a week)

WEEKLY GOAL:
Run at least 10 miles, do at least 3 T25 days

I'm in the process of making an Instragram account for this blog (and kind of considering rebranding my whole blog) and it will hopefully be up soon.  You can follow me @mynestinginstincts.

You can also follow me on My Fitness Pal @mynestinginstincts but since I'm TECHNICALLY not supposed to count calories on Paleo, I may not update much.